‘Just makes me feel like I wasn’t part of the plan all along’: Mother-in-law uninvites son’s girlfriend from family vacation, leaving her to weigh sweet payback on boyfriend or high road when her family’s to plan a trip

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 16, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Every would-be antihero faces their defining moment. The one event that tipped the odds and sent them into the villainy business. For the woman at the center of this story, it happened approximately a year ago. Her boyfriend's mother uninvited her from a trip last year, and now her family is planning one.

She now stands at the crossroads, staring down two glittering paths. In one hand, she holds the golden invitation to petty revenge—shimmering, tempting, and oh-so-satisfying. In the other, the dull but noble road map to moral superiority. Both come with consequences, and both could land her on wildly different ends of the family group chat spectrum. And also, possibly single.  

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  • The high road beckons with its soft, smug glow. It’s a place of serene martyrdom where you invite the boyfriend along on your family’s vacation, smile sweetly, and pretend all is well. Sure, this path earns you praise from the grandmas, But the high road has hidden potholes. For one, you might have to endure his family someday saying, See? SHE'S the nice one—guess we didn’t do anything wrong after all!

  • "AITAH for not wanting my boyfriend to come on my family vacation after his mom told me I can’t go with them on their vacation a month before the trip?"

    "She told my boyfriend she's jealous of me because she's no longer the only woman in his life anymore"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Then, there’s Pettiness Peak. It glows like a neon sign outside a Vegas dive bar: messy, thrilling, and wildly irresponsible. He stays behind while you bask in the tropical sun, sipping a drink with a tiny umbrella, knowing the scales of justice have been balanced. Is it dumb? Yes. Are you taking revenge on the wrong person and probably ruining your relationship? Sure! But it feels good at the moment, so, you know, dive in.

  • My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We moved to another city together for university and have been living together for 2 years. His mom is the "boy mom" type, very possessive of him. She's
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  • So, what’s it going to be? Eternal admiration from the moral high ground or a momentary power trip that tastes like victory and maybe just a sprinkle of guilt? One thing’s for sure: sunscreen goes well with either decision, but pettiness feels like it pairs better with a dive bar mojito.

  • done/said a few things over the years, including telling my boyfriend shes jealous of me when we first got together, I'm assuming because she's no longer the only woman in his life anymore.
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  • Last year, they planned to go on a trip and both the parents and the grandparents offered to bring me along. I was very grateful and accepted the offer. A month before we were supposed to
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  • leave, the mom texted my boyfriend and said they can't afford to bring me anymore. I was slightly upset but understood because things happen.
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  • The day before they flew, my boyfriend drove back to where we're from because it's closer to the airport. He texted me saying his parents were buying their entire family of 4 new phones. I
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  • Cheezburger Image 10479379456
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • thought it was a little weird as they just claimed they couldn't afford to bring me, but oh well. A month later, they bought a new car.
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  • I don't expect my SO's family to make me a priority in their financial decisions. I don't feel entitled for people to pay for me. If circumstances were different and I didn't have this history with his mom I wouldn't feel this way.
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  • To be petty or not to be petty? That is the question

    Cheezburger Image 10479380736
    via WendyOlsenPhotography

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • But the fact that she told me they couldn't afford to pay for me ONE MONTH before the trip just makes me feel like there was an ulterior motive, and I wasn't part of the plan all along. Not to
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  • mention, the morning they were in the airport, my boyfriend called me and his mom popped her head into the FaceTime frame and said "wish u were here!!!!"
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  • A few days ago, my mom told me my grandma wants to take my family on a trip this Christmas, and bring my boyfriend with us. AITAH for not wanting him to come after this situation happened last summer?!?
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  • arodomus NTA. for tat is never good, but I wouldn't have my grandma pay for him. No way no how. His mom can pay his trip or he can stay his momma's boy a home.
    via Parking_Pudding1389
  • Listen, if homeboy won't stand up to his mom now on your behalf. He never will. Do you want that for the rest of your life? Think on that.
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  • swaggyboi1991 would things have been different if you had offered to pay for your portion of the trip?
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  • Soggy-Professor7025 Why didn't he notice how hurtful it was to you and not discuss it with his mother?
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  • Condensed Sarcasm Depends, honestly. Does your boyfriend correct his mom's behavior and put you first? Does he call her out on her bulls behavior and make her stop? Or is he a mommy's boy that always puts her first and leaves you hanging out to dry?
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  • If it's the former, then take him with you and have a serious talk about how you're feeling. Work on enforcing boundaries.
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  • If it's the latter, leave him behind and take some time on the trip to do some serious introspection into your relationship and if this is something you can put up with for the rest of your life.
    via Condensed_Sarcasm
  • icecreamp Maybe you should face the fact that this relationship is not going to work out long term. His mother hates you and is weird and competitive. And he's happy to let it all happen. Don't retaliate, just think about your life, dude.
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  • hot-fudge-sundae116 Yes. YTA. It was his mom's decision, not his. If you don't want him with you, break up with him. If you just want time with your family, say so.
    via hot-fudge-sundae116
  • Head Photograph9572 YTA. You aren't focusing on your boyfriends actions, which is to put his mother before you. It's been four years, if the shis still this bad, it's time to move on. He'll never put you FIRST, which is what a good partner does.
    via Head Photograph9572
  • ShallotEvening7494 So you're punishing him over his mother's actions? YTA. Grow up.
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  • Vivid-Farm6291 If you want a relationship with your boyfriend then take him. It will highlight that you were excluded from HIS family trip.
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  • Spiteful behaviour will never end well for you. It will make his mother happy though.
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  • With MILs behaviour I would have a serious talk with your boyfriend about what is acceptable boundaries and if he is willing to say no to his mother. That is what really matters.
    via Vivid-Farm6291

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family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt sister fiancé grandmother Father
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